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Bring your playful self to your interactions with him. Flirt and you’ll trick yourself into feeling confident instead of insecure. If you see him—even if it’s at the divorce attorney, the marriage counselor, or just to hand-off the kids—pretend it’s a date. Let him open the door and thank him with a sweet smile. This is your husband we’re talking about, so even if he’s being intimate with someone else, he’s yours, not hers.
You might be tempted to retaliate by locking him out of the bedroom, but when you’re trying to restore intimacy why not start with physical intimacy? As I mentioned, this isn’t the usual relationship advice, and you might know plenty of people will tell you to throw the bum out, or figure out where all the assets are in preparation for a divorce. Find the friends, coach or chat group that supports your vision.
I can’t think of anything more painful and heartbreaking than having your husband say, “I don’t love you anymore. I’m in love with someone else.” Or–maybe even worse—to discover those things without him saying anything.
It’s only human to be angry at him for being such a thoughtless jerk.
Of course you’ll get discouraged, but your vision of being a happy couple is worthwhile and possible.
When you find yourself on the fence about your marriage, find the people in your life who support your vision and let them remind you to jump off on the side of love. You might feel far away from that, but this is a shortcut for getting back there. Laugh when he’s funny, and reference the inside jokes you share.
With so much going wrong, it will feel really strange to focus on what’s going right.
Every great come-from-behind-and-win-the-game-story has cheerleaders. I, for one, am cheering for you to not only save your marriage, but to make it magical again.
I’m not saying it will be easy, but I am saying it will be worth it to feel desired, cherished, and adored by your husband again.
After the divorce, you may find you have mixed emotions about your ex-spouse. When a couple divorces, the bad times they shared may be a recent memory, but there are times when each person feels vulnerable, lonely, or scared of the changes taking place. Many newly divorced people are so focused on the bad that they grow resentful and hold such a grudge against their ex - spouse, it is hard to move on with their lives. Only one person does not hold most marriages together, and they don’t end because of one person either.
While you may know that the divorce was for the best, you may find that some days you hate your ex-spouse, and, surprisingly, other days you miss him/her. So, deal with the anger you feel in a constructive way.5. Sometimes you may need a sounding board or a shoulder to cry on.