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Brett: I'm 5'8", so I've always felt I'm in this weird middle ground of not really knowing if I'm "short" or not.
I mean, the average American male is technically at 5'10", so by that measure I'm shorter than average, but should I self-identify as "short"?
So I guess opposites attract, or I just enjoy the awkward interactions/comical antics of doing activities with someone much taller than I? Standing out (physically) my whole life has led me to be much more confident and fearless of being different. There are definitely a lot of great guys who only see six feet as one small part of who I am.
However, I also deal with so many ignorant men who make a huge deal about my height, probably to bury their own insecurity or intimidation.
Kevin: I'm not one to complain about being short, because once you realize you can shop in the children's section and climb on top of things to get to out-of-reach objects, you're pretty much on a level playing field with the rest of the world. I think a lot of guys fetishize the height gap and say things like, "I'm so into you because you're so short," or "It's really hot knowing that I could lift you up in bed," etc.
Or guys can also be completely dismissive once they see me in person and say, "You seem much taller in your photos" or "I didn't realize how short you were until you got off that stool." I recently had one guy actually look over my head to see if the person he was meeting was someone else besides me. But of course in a completely contradictory way, I'm usually attracted to men who are much, much taller than I am.
As someone who mostly — though not exclusively — dates men, I feel like my height has helped me a lot with dating, because men unconsciously perceive me as "normal," and I don't activate their unconscious transphobia as badly.
I've been told more than a few times that "there's no way I can tell you're trans," and that helps men feel comfortable dating me.
That's low-key why I always feel the need to have my hair with a bit of body — to make up for lost ground.That self-consciousness definitely stems over into my dating life too, and with online dating even more.I understand everyone has their preferences, but it's always been the most baffling thing to me how some people unabashedly put things like "Under 5'10" need not apply" right in their profile, dismissing someone right off the bat based on something so superficial.I think the hardest part was that his clothes didn't fit the way boyfriend clothes should.Yes, focusing on what's inside is more important — but that's easier said than done.
Back when I identified as a gay man, my short stature was a liability, since the mainstream gay world is into tall, muscular guys.